Hy haz been inspired to filk dis. Vun or two of hyu might recognise der original.
Oh, Herr von Blitzengaard,
The bears have really caught you off your guard;
Trouble's been a-brewing in your own back yard,
Here it comes, von Blitzengaard.
But you, Herr von Blitzengaard,
Thought that being king was really not so hard;
You want to be a star,
What a silly man you are!
You came to an agreement with the leader of the bears,
But never thought that you might be held to that;
And now he says you've got to give the shiny thing to Krosp,
And look at you, von Blitzengaard, you're upstaged by a cat.
Oh, Herr von Blitzengaard,
You must have known your fortune would be made or marred;
Step back, or you'll get scarred,
Poor old Herr von Blitzengaard.
But you, Herr von Blitzengaard,
Thought you could just go in fighting no holds barred;
Vapnoople from afar
Doesn't know how daft you are.
Admittedly you're very large and scary,
With hair of that bizarre Valois maroon;
Admittedly you've got a useful werewolf,
But nonetheless we've got to say you're acting like a loon.
Oh, Herr von Blitzengaard,
Running after Agatha is quite ill-starred;
It's not as if your actions smell of myrrh and nard,
Creepy old von Blitzengaard.
But you, Herr von Blitzengaard,
You pretend to act as though you'd fallen hard,
Though your heart's as black as tar -
What a blasted cad you are!
And chasing Lady Selnikov will do you no more good;
She lies within the vaults now, dead in her gore.
You need to know that it was she who let this horror loose,
And also that her book is safe... we won't say any more.
Oh, Herr von Blitzengaard,
The engine's still amok inside the brothers' yard,
So help to stop it now before it eats a guard,
Hurry, Herr von Blitzengaard!
For you, Herr von Blitzengaard,
Thought that you were going to play your final card,
But Krosp has put you firmly in your place:
You silly king - he's got the ace.